After the critical and financial failure of Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Disney and LucasFilm are looking for ways to save the dying franchise. Logically, the only correct direction to go in is to do more prequels as they were the most successful among fans and critics alike. A character that has been dying for a return to the big screen has been GREEDO. After his unfortunate demise in Star Wars: A New Hope and his small cameo in The Phantom Menace, Greedo needs to come back to help reinvent the failing franchise and I think I have the perfect idea to do it.
3 words: DARK AND GRITTY. That’s right. Greedo is a character that has been dying for an R rating and the best way to achieve his ultimate form is by making him dark and gritty. My inside sources tell me that Benedict Cumberbatch, who was rumored for the role of Captain Phasma in The Force Awakens, is in cahoots with Disney and LucasFilm again. Wouldn’t he be a perfect Greedo? Also, because of JJ Abrams’ immense failure with the franchise, I am hearing that Disney wants visionary genius George Lucas to return for the Greedo film. We have seen that Lucas and Cumberbatch can handle darker properties so this seems like the perfect pair.
Now let’s talk story. The film starts with the Greedo we all know and love. This time, we see our favorite character exit his speeder in a super badass way. He slowly walks to building that we soon realize is Mos Eisley. As we see him enter, the camera stays outside of the cantina until we hear the sound of 2 blaster shots. The screen cuts to black and the text reads “15 YEARS EARLIER…”.
Now, we cut to a much younger and wilder Greedo. He is a cocky and stubborn scoundrel that always picks a fight with the wrong people. We pick up with Greedo in a good ol’ fashioned Mexican Standoff. Standing in a triangle like The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, the tension builds and builds. Suddenly, the two others pull their blasters and shoot Greedo, who pull his gun out too late. The 2 laugh as they approach Greedo and say “You always shoot too late, Greedo”. Luckily, Greedo was wearing a metal plate under his shirt that saved him from the deadly blast.
Cut to 13 years later. Greedo has retired from his life of bounty hunting (which we see in a nightmare dream sequence). He has a wife and 3 little children. All is looking up for Greedo until he accidentally gets involved with Jabba the Hut. Jabba feels disrespected by Greedo because he no longer serves him and he was the best bounty hunter in the galaxy. To get him back into the game, Jabba KIDNAPS Greedo’s wife and kids and says that he won’t release them until he does a few more jobs for him. Greedo reluctantly agrees.
Jabba tasks Greedo in killing 3 kids who stole from the Hut’s palace. Greedo is very unhappy about this but he must do what Jabba says or his family will be killed. The Rodian bounty hunter finds the children and in a very emotional scene, he kills the children with great sorrow. This scene is insanely well performed by Cumberbatch and it will probably be the scene they play when they announce him as a nominee for best actor at The Oscars.
A montage commences of Greedo doing Jabba’s tasks. The jobs are very difficult and not every bounty hunter would survive them but Greedo is a one of a kind. As the montage finishes, Jabba is very pleased and tells Greedo that he wants him to do only one more job for him and then he can have his family back. Greedo is thrilled by this news and wants to get the job over with as soon as possible so he can be reunited with his family that he hasn’t seen for 2 years. Jabba tells Greedo to go to Mos Eisley and collect his money from HAN SOLO.
Greedo thinks that this is easy enough and he exits Jabba’s palace. The screen cuts to black. Is the movie over? NO. A shot for shot remake of the scene from A New Hope comes on with Greedo talking to Han Solo, who is played by a CGI Harrison Ford. This time, instead of following Han and being glad that he survives, we follow Greedo and it makes us sympathize with him because we know his fate. When Han says the line, “Yes, I bet you have”, the screen cuts to black and the credits roll.
But everybody knows never to leave a film before the credits finish. Sure enough, after the credits, the words “GREEDO WILL RETURN IN AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR – PART 1” appear. WHAT! Such an incredible idea for a crossover. Greedo will fit perfectly in the MCU and things are only looking up from here. Are you excited for this Greedo film? Comment below to share your thoughts.